“I needed it an hour ago” [short story]


Her knife sliced effortlessly through the steak, she stabbed it with the fork and wrapped her lips slowly around the succulent piece of meat. She ate in contented silence until she was interrupted by her date …
“So, tell me about yourself” he said cheerfully
“What an awfully generic question” she “thought” out loud  absentmindedly. The gaze she pinned the young man with subsequently was wide and scrutinizing. Her statement was meant to sting, his face fell…

It took him a few moments to gather his wits, I’m dealing with a real bitch here he thought. Of course he had more manners than to think it out loud.

‘It’s generic to want to know about your date? A blind date at that,” he was affronted, not that she cared to notice at all. She had moved onto her mashed potatoes sighing  heavily; she was bothered.
“What do you want to know?” she rolled her eyes putting another bite into her mouth.

He shrugged looking younger than his 32 years  “I don’t know… Anything?” he seemed hopeful
“Okay,” she  acquiesced  “I am a… sociopath,” she returned her disconcerting gaze to his moss green  eyes. She stabbed another piece of steak and chewed daintily waiting for his response.

“A sociopath?” his eyebrows shot up

“Yes.” she answered simply

“A sociopath…” he played with the word smirking at her “I just don’t believe that,” he chuckled.



“No, lie to me,”

sarcasm, he thought

“I feel like this bitchy exterior most women present is a front. You know? Like protection, they don’t want to be hurt,” he said silkily “But, I’m not that kind of guy,”


“So you think you know women?”

I know women, probably better than you think you know men,”  he smiled.

“I know what men are, I know how they think,” she put her utensils down “This date isn’t going your way and you thought your cute little routine, which you’ve probably been practicing,could bring some life back into this date,”

“Uh…” He was all he could say

“You’re probably trying to figure out what you’ll do tonight, since it probably won’t be me,” She taunted “You’ll play some mundane video game then, jerk-it to some porn? Check your fantasy football league? You’ll probably retire wondering why it didn’t work out with your ex, you’ll also think about why women like me pass you, your poorly tailored suits, bad haircuts, and your disgusting cologne over,” she picked up her utensils and placed another piece of steak in her mouth and chewed slowly watching as everything washed Charles…or was his name David? Daniel? It didn’t matter because he was flustered and this entertained her.

What a bitch…

“Well, I know how you women work! ” His voice was louder than he anticipated

“Yes?” she teased

“After this date you’ll go back and talk about how terrible and cheap men are. You’ll complain about the steakhouse, probably isn’t expensive enough for you. You probably don’t even eat meat. You’ll cry on your girlfriend’s shoulder about men and your weight while you down a gallon of ice cream. You’ll paint your nails , beautify yourself then go out the next night to another steakhouse,” he took a deep breath.

She regarded him carefully before responding “Hmm… I’ll begin by saying I love meat and I think people who refuse to eat it are silly. It doesn’t matter how expensive or inexpensive this steakhouse is I planned to pay the bill, if that in anyway offends your masculinity I’ll just pay my portion of the bill,” she cocked her to one side and slid her finger back and forth over her bottom lip, this distracted him until she began again ” I don’t cry, it’s an awful waste of time. I have the ability to but I only found this trick useful when I was younger it is no longer effective in my late twenties. I don’t eat ice cream, I eat frozen yogurt, because I take care if my body and I’d rather but complain about my weight if I can do something about it. I don’t paint my own nails , I have a woman for that,” she paused still staring into his eyes  “And lastly, I don’t have any female friends, I really don’t have friends at all,”

“I wonder why that is,” he muttered

” I don’t,” she replied still staring into his eyes … She was impressed he hadn’t looked away
” You have a really strong gaze, it’s relentless” he said

“Yes, I know,” she said matter-of-factly ” it’s how I am able to gauge who you are.”

The side of his mouth curled up “your place or mine?” he said boldly

“Neither” she said flatly, she summoned the waiter “check please, I needed it an hour ago,”


One response »

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